In the Eye of the Beholder

We've all heard the sayings about beauty and art being in the eye of the beholder. While I find the first to be true and the latter very much debatable, I want to add gratitude to the list of things that are in the eye of the beholder. Not gratitude in and of itself, but the things that we are, or should be, grateful for.

Last week I was sick. I had some kind of virus that gave me a sore throat, made me cough and sneeze, and just made me feel icky and sleepy overall. I was annoyed that I had to use two PTO days because I was too exhausted to work from home on two of the four days I was home sick. I was even more annoyed that I was sick right before my best childhood friend who I hadn't seen in two years was flying in for the weekend to see me. I was annoyed because my dogs were only getting short walks and that I didn't have someone to walk them while I was sick. I was annoyed that none of my household chores and other deliverables were getting done.

While I was lying in bed moping about being sick, I got a phone call from my dermatologist. A few weeks ago, I had two of my many moles removed because they were growing and/or itching at times and just plainly looked abnormal to me. This wasn't the first time. I had a big mole on my back removed about a year ago. The reason I am talking about this is not to gross you out. I had forgotten (or intentionally suppressed) that I was expecting to hear back from the dermatologist on the results of the biopsy.

When the phone rang and I realized who and what it was, suddenly all my thoughts of being sick with a cold vanished. I prayed to God that the results were normal. I was flooded with fear at the thought of what would happen if the results were abnormal. Within 5 seconds I thought about all of the medical procedures I would have to go through, the possible cancer treatment, who would take care of my dogs, how would I pay for all of it, how would I tell my mom on the other side of the world…

"Ms. Kelly, both of your moles were normal, so no further treatment is necessary"

Sigh. Thank you God.

After that, I wasn't annoyed anymore. I praised the Lord for the good news and thanked Him for being so good to me. I thanked Him for not being permanently sick, for having a job that allows me to work from home, for having PTO time, for being able to see my best friend, for having my dogs to comfort me, for having people in my life who love me, for having a roof over my head, for having food….

'In the eye of the beholder' is a fancy expression for 'perspective'. When we put things into the right perspective, they don't look so bad anymore. What are things in your life that you need to put into the right perspective?

Giving - #Thanksgiving Post Number 2

The 'giving' part in Thanksgiving is not just about giving thanks. It's about giving to other people, especially those who are less fortunate than yourself. It’s about sharing with those you love, but also about sharing with those you don't even know. God commands us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves, which includes all of the human race. Giving is one of the most impactful expression of love and should be exercised regularly.

I believe that it is also important to be thoughtful in your giving. Just like you spend time figuring out the best possible gift for your loved ones, based on their needs and wants, you should take the time to figure out what other people need.

This summer, I saw a homeless woman on the side of the road. I asked her if I could buy her dinner. She said that she wasn't actually very hungry because it was so hot. At first, I was a little stunned, and even a little offended I must admit. Then I realized that I was making a mistake. I asked her if there is anything that I could get for her instead of buying her dinner. She said she would really love popsicle. So I drove to the store and got her couple of popsicles as well as some Gatorade.

I learned my lesson. Now when I see a homeless person on the side of the road, I try to stop and ask them what they need first. Of course, I don't always have the time or the chance to stop to ask questions.  And money is probably always a good thing to give. But if I do have the time, I ask if they have an immediate need that I can help them out with while they are standing there on the side of the road.

This lesson can applied to everyone in your life. Don't just give them what is dispensable at the time. Ask questions and give what is needed.

Just like we all have different blood types, we all have different needs. If you are an A blood type, you cannot receive B type blood. It won't help you. Some people need money, others need your help with something, and again others may just need someone to talk to. The needs are as unique as the people we deal with. Don't try to take care of all of them with the blanket solution of money.

The exception to that I see is time. Time is like the O blood type. It can be given to anyone, regardless of their own blood type. Whether you are giving money, helping someone, listening to them or doing something else for them, you are giving your time. Time is the most valuable thing humans have, so when you give your time, you are truly showing someone that you care.

Proverbs 22:9

9 A generous man will himself be blessed, for he shares his food with the poor.

Thanks - #Thanksgiving Post Number 1

Sure, we can all point to injustices and bad breaks in our lives. It is easy to get hung up on those things. Occupy Wall Street wants you to focus on that and that only. But today (and really everyday), we need to focus on all the blessings in our lives. Reality is, if you live in the U.S. or the EU or any other 1st world country, there are a lot of things that every single one of us can and should be grateful for:

• The ability to publish and read this and any blog post on the internet - can you say North Korea? And I am not just talking about freedom of speech. I am talking about access to the internet.

• Running water - Turkmenistan gets one hour of running water a day. And compared to other countries, even that is a luxury.

• I am allowed to drive (and more obviously) as a woman - although me in particular driving may not be something people are thankful for ;-).

• Roads/infrastructure

• Services: police, fire, medical

• Access to food - even if you have to dumpster dive, beg for it, or eat at a shelter, it's there.

• Basic education for everyone.

• www.globalrichlist.com - type in your income here and be amazed at how rich you are compared to the rest of the world.

• Finally, something that everyone in the world can and should be thankful for is God's love and grace.

I could add more to this list, but I am sure you get my point without more examples. Be thankful for what you have and you will receive more. God bless.

1 Thessalonians 5:18  in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Colossians 3:15  And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful.

People I Want to Meet

I want to meet:

@bonovox_ because it's Bono. And I love the Irish and Ireland.  And U2 is not just a band. It's a phenomena. Their music moves generations. I spent 6 years working at an Irish Pub in Germany and listened to U2 every day. Never got tired of it. I once saw them play on a roof top in Dublin and went to their concert in Seattle this past June. It was a spiritual experience. That's the only way I know how to describe it. When they played 'Mysterious Ways' I closed my eyes and it felt like being back in Prague 20 years ago when my cousin played that song for me for the first timehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZK5Jn3ZPUQ  My first U2 song. Meeting Bono would be like meeting Superman.

@billgates and @melindagates - because I knew his name before we even owned our first computer in Germany. The thought of trying to meet Bill Gates was the same as trying to meet the President of the United States. Never in a million years would I have ever thought back then that some day I would live in his "neighborhood" (i.e. WA). Bill and Melinda live a life of giving. When I win the lottery or create a billion $ start-up, I want to do the same. I want to spend my life helping others. They are living my dream. Maybe some day I will run into them at the grocery store or something and will be able to express my admiration in person.

@davidhasselhoff because when I was a child he was an important figure in pop culture in Germany and I hope he will sing at my wedding some day. "Looking for freedom" was a song that many in East Germany and in Soviet run countries could relate to. He symbolized the American Dream and freedom for many in Europe (which back then wasn't a curse word like it seems to be now… yes I am looking at you Occupy Wall Street). I went to his concert in Frankfurt when I was about 4 years old, I could "sing along" to all of his songs years before I even spoke English, and I watched Knight Rider and listen to Knight Rider audio tapes in German. I know this is totally weird to most Americans, but he will always be my childhood hero. 

@tferriss - Because he gets what life is all about. The 4 Hour Work Week isn't about being lazy, it's about living out loud and following your dreams and passions. If I could pick anyone to be my mentor, he would be at the top of my list. And maybe he could teach me how to tango, too.

@joelosteen because his smile is infectious and His blessings are written all over Joel's face. Some people say he is fake, some people say he is too positive or fluffy in his messages, and some say that it's all about him and his fame instead of bringing glory to the Lord. I don't agree with any of those statements. Even through the camera you can see that Joel's eyes are filled with faith, love and passion for people. It would be great to be able to say thank you to a man who has dedicated his life to reminding people that God loves us no matter what.

Now let's make this happen :-)

Daylight Wastings Time

I've lived with the time change all my life, but for some reason this year it really hit me that it is an antiquated tradition that serves no purpose. With turning the clocks back an hour, the sun rose in Seattle today at 7:02 a.m. and set at 4:43 p.m. If we hadn't switched, it would have been 8:02 a.m. for the sunrise and 5:43 p.m. for the sunset. Now which one of those saves more daylight in your opinion?

With the new time, I now get to drive to work while it's light, get to spend every 'light' minute of the day at the office, and if I leave a little early I get to drive home while it is still light outside.

With the old time, I would have driven to the office in the dark, spend most of the 'light' minutes of the day at the office, and if I left a little early I would have been able to at least go for a walk while it was still light out.

So how is this saving time again? It isn't. If you have to be at the office between 8-9 a.m. , you can't go for a run or a hike at 7 a.m., get back home, get ready for work, and then drive to work.  A kid doesn't have time to play outside before school.

Setting the clocks back an hour may have saved daylight when everyone was a farmer and needed light earlier in the mornings to milk the cows, feed the pigs, and collect eggs (or whatever farmers do). That way the children of the family could help out with the chores and then still make it to school on time. Nowadays, it could be dark until 4 p.m. and most people wouldn't care because everyone is working or in school. Who cares if it's light outside if you have to sit inside all day anyway? Everyone's leisure time is set for after work or after school. Setting back the clocks makes it nearly impossible to enjoy the outdoors during the winter months, except for the weekend.

Maybe people aren't only gaining weight during the holiday season because they are eating more than usual. Maybe one of the contributing factors is that people can't go outside after 4 p.m. anymore. Maybe suicide rates rise during the holidays because people haven't seen the sun in 2 months.  You don't have to be unstable to get depressed about being in darkness for 6 months because it is in fact depressing. No fresh air, no vitamin D.

I don't know why this custom has not yet been abolished. Everyone seems to just accept it because that is how it's always been. But Daylight Wastings Time does not work for this generation anymore.  If anything, clocks should be moved ahead during the winter months instead of set back. If you want to give people more daylight, it needs to be in the afternoon, not in the morning.  Now, who in Olympia do I need to talk to in order to get this on the ballots? 

#occupyyourself

If you follow my Twitter feed at all, you probably know that I am not a fan of the whole Occupy thing. There are several reasons for that, such as the misguided attempt to raise awareness about inequality by causing traffic jams, wasting tax payer money and annoying people (ever heard 'honey catches more flies than vinegar'?) but I don't want to get into all of that right now.

What really baffled me was seeing a young woman at Occupy WallStreet being asked the following: "If one of the CEOs from these banks came down here and offered you a $150,000 job, would you take it?"

With no hesitation this girl said "No!"

So what is the message here? I thought everyone was upset about unemployment and income inequality. Wouldn't her having a high-paying job not be a small step towards balancing it out? The message to me is: "No! I want to continue to be part of the 99% because then I can loathe in self-pity and be angry and I don't want to work for one of those evil, corrupt 1% owned companies".
Right, why would you want to get a job at one of those companies. All that would allow you do is to make a real difference by changing things from within and taking small or big steps to end corruption and focus on the customer. Horrible idea. Sitting at a park all day is so much more effective.

Since this 'job offer' was purely theoretical, let's look at other things that all of the people at the Occupy events could be doing. Instead of hanging out at a park all day, drinking Starbucks and playing with your iPhone expressing your anger on Twitter and Facebook or streaming Hulu or Netflix, you could be making a real difference in the lives of people that have it much much worse than you.

Did you know that if you make $30,000 a year, you are still among the top 7% richest people in the world?!http://www.globalrichlist.com/

 Here are some ideas for things you can do to #occupyyourself and #makearealdifference:

- Volunteer at a homeless or animal shelter
- Take the time to go buy food for a homeless person you see on the side of the road
- Become a Big Brother or Big Sister
- Organize a charity event for a cause that is dear to your heart or volunteer to help out with one
- Ask your neighbors if they need help with anything and help them out if you can (moving, walking the dog, babysitting, etc)
- Teach - do you have skills that could help a child (or an adult!) make a better life for themselves? Share your knowledge!
- Use your network to help someone find a job, find a home, or whatever you can connect them with
- Help someone find a job by referring them, helping with their resume, providing interview tips from your experience, lending them an outfit for the interview, driving them to the interview, and so on
- Create a start-up
- Join a charity on an overseas trip for a couple of months helping people by building wells, teaching English, helping with relief efforts and so on
- Travel. Expand your horizons

This is just my personal list. I am sure there are many more items that could be added (and please do in the comments if you have any!)

Imagine what a difference Occupy participants could make if all of them refocused their energy on one or some of the items above. And what would the message to the banks and the government be?

"The 99% stand together and help each other ... and we don't need you". Now that's a scary statement to the banks and the government.



P.S.: I know that this does not apply to most Occupy protesters, but since I have seen it and heard of it, I just need to call this one out: anyone yelling "F**k the USA" should be sent a on trip to Turkmenistan or North Korea for 6 months. Bet that will change their mind.

#surrenderleftlane

Everyone is all about occupying things and places these days, but today I urge you to surrender. Surrender the left lane.

WA state drivers do not understand the purpose of the left lane. Whether you call it the 'passing lane' or the 'fast lane', I bet that 95% of the time you have no business being in the left lane. If someone passes you on the right, you are not going fast. And guess what, you are also not passing anyone.

It's funny to me how people get all stubborn and don't move out of the way when someone pulls up behind them. They stay in the left lane and even slow down just to make some kind of point. Actually, funny is not the right word. Infuriating probably describes it better. And what point are those people making? That they do not understand the purpose of the left lane.

If you hate traffic around here, do your part and surrender the left lane. Only use it to pass someone and then get back over. Slow traffic should always stay and move right. Always.

P.S.: I am not running late, I just don't like driving slowly.

DoggyTripTip: Westport, WA

Two weekends ago my boyfriend and I went on a short trip to Westport, WA. We've visited twice before. Each time with five dogs. Yes 5. Four of them are mine, number five belongs to a dear friend of mine. He is part of the pack so he gets to come with us. If you are looking for a weekend get-away that is fun for you AND your pooch(es), you should consider Westport.

Why Westport:

• Dogs love playing on the beach (stating the obvious)
• It's a great get-away to free your mind and enjoy the sunshine and beach
• Westport is only about a 2 hr drive from the Seattle area, unlike other beach towns
• The beach is pretty big, clean and not too busy
• There are NO cars allowed on the beach

The latter is the main reason why I prefer Westport over places like Long Beach. With no cars on the beach your kids and dogs are safe to run around where ever they want. In Long Beach, cars are driving back and forth, going pretty fast since it is considered a state highway.

Where to stay:

• We have stayed at Mariner's Cove Inn twice http://marinerscoveinn.com/
• This last time we went, Mariner's was booked so we stayed at the Islander http://www.westport-islander.com/

Both places are clean and nice, but they are motels (or motel like) so don't except a Hilton. The rooms at both places were spacious and in good condition. The beds were comfy and the bathrooms were clean. Mariner's Cove is closer to the main beach, while the Islander is closer to the main part of town as well as to Half Moon Bay, however, proximity really isn't that big of a deal, since it is a fairly small town.

The Islander also has an in-house bar and restaurant called the Half Moon Bay Bar & Grill which is the nicest restaurant I've seen in town (but I didn't eat there this time… I will get back to that) so if you prefer to be able to dine and drink and not have to drive after, this may be a good option. It is a nice perk but it also causes the parking lot to be full so you may not be able to even park in front of the hotel, let alone in front of your room. They have about 20 rooms so there are quite a few people walking around. We were on the first floor and I could hear people walking around above us in the middle of the night, so if you're a light sleeper like me, you may want to request the second floor.  Mariner's Cove is more quaint, it only has 7 rooms total, no second floor, so it is a little nicer when travelling with dogs, because there aren't people constantly passing your room and you don't feel like your dogs are imposing as much on others if they bark every once in a while.

Pricing at Mariner's Cove was significantly lower than it was at the Islander, but that may have been a seasonal thing as well since we went during different times of the year. Both places allowed us to bring 5 dogs but only charged us their dog fee for 2.

There were other places too that allowed dogs (some of them would have even taken 5), but they were booked or too expensive. Call a couple of places to figure out which one works best for you.

Where to eat:

• The Mermaid Deli http://www.mermaiddeli.com/ - it doesn't look like much from the outside, but it is a nice little bar/restaurant on the inside. When you first walk in it seems like a sandwich carry out place (which you can do by the way), but there is a bar in the back and a very spacious outside area where your dog can come join you (of course, you should always ask first). Their sandwiches are amazing. My favorites are the Melt and their Maui Pork Sandwich. Go there - your taste buds will be forever thankful.
• Westport Winery http://www.westportwinery.org/ - This is a really cute and cozy winery. It is outside of town and about a 20 minute drive from Westport. I love fruit blends and they have a lot of them, so I love going there for tastings. I even signed up for their wine club! On this last trip we also went there for dinner. It is definitely in the pricier category, but it was delicious. They had live music that was mellow and not overbearing and we had a great, romantic dinner. They are also super dog friendly. They have an outside area where you can sit with your dog and you can walk your dog anywhere on the property. The owners love dogs and even have events for dogs called 'Yappy Hour!'
• Half Moon Bay Bar & Grill at the Islander http://www.washingtonsbestbloodymary.com/ - The first time we went to Westport we loved this place, the second time we weren't impressed, and this last time we didn't go partly due to our experience last time and partly due to wanting to eat a different place this time around. They are famous for their Bloody Marys because they stack them with a bunch of stuff (it's like a small salad!). Obviously, that isn't what makes a good  Bloody Mary though. The first time we went, we sat in the dining room and had 2 Bloody Marys each because they were that good, the food was awesome and service was great. The second time, the hostess sat is in a dark corner in the dining room on a sunny day, which we all know have to be enjoyed as much as possible around here. When we inquired if we could sit anywhere else, like next to a window!, she said that those tables were all reserved and walked away instead of asking if we would like to sit in the lounge or at the bar that was getting some sunshine. So we just got up and sat down at the bar. However, the bar staff was very non-responsive (it took 4 times of us asking to get a glass of water) and watching the bartender 'mix' the Bloody Mary by dumping Vodka on ice and then adding Bloody Mary mix angered me. Especially since we seemed to have forgotten that they cost $15 a pop. On top of that the Bloody Mary didn't taste good this time at all. I didn't even finish mine and last time I had 2! The food was probably just as good as the last time, but given the overall experience it just didn't seem to be worth the money. So for us it has been a hit or miss here. I hope that if and when you go, you will have a fantastic experience.
• Little Richard's House of Donuts http://www.yelp.com/biz/little-richards-house-westport - Not to my surprise, this place does not have a website.  Their reviews on Yelp are pretty good, but my experience there has been just ok. All three times I have walked in there with a big smile on my face and said 'hello'. And every single time the chick behind the counter just stared at me like a goldfish and didn't respond. I don't know about you, but when I say hello and am about to buy something from you, please have the courtesy to say hello back (and really… you should be the one to say hello first!). Outside of this pet peeve of mine, the selection is not very large, but their stuff is pretty good. I personally really liked the Maple Bar. Huge and really tasty.

There are definitely more places to explore in Westport. These are just places we've happened to go to and that we have enjoyed.

10 things I learned from my brother's visit

This summer my younger brother visited me here in the U.S. We were both born and raised in Germany and I moved here in 2006. During his visit I learned and realized a lot of things that I had either not noticed before or already forgotten. About the American culture and about myself.

 Here they are, in no particular order:

1. Americans (or shall I say the ones we interacted with during his visit) sometimes don't speak their mind out of fear of offending someone. They for example say 'that's so funny'  in response to a comment or action that was supposed to be funny, when clearly it wasn't. Otherwise they would have just laughed and the 'that's so funny' comment would have been redundant.
2. I tend to worry too much about others having a good time rather than just having a good time with them.
3. Eating typically American food for a week straight will make you feel nasty, tired and fat (we ate burgers, corn dogs, hot dogs, pizza for the first week or so).
4. I drive like a German, but have the parallel parking abilities of a 16 year old American girl living in the suburbs.
5. It is very tough for Germans (or foreigners in general) to understand all the slang, cultural references and nuances sometimes. My brother answered the immigration lady with 'yeah sure' when asked if he had a full-time job in Germany. He said she got very inquisitive and kind of mean after that and he didn't understand why. When he said 'sure' he meant 'of course' or 'you can be assured that I do'. I explained to him that she probably heard 'yeah sure… whatever you say, just let me go'. I might be wrong, but that is my assumption.
6. The US economy is losing ground (I know… duh..). The immigration lady also asked my brother if he was coming to the U.S. to pay my bills (i.e. get a job and help me out). He responded with 'I would pay her bills if I could, but she makes a lot more money than I do'. He told me later that he wishes he would have just said: 'Why would I come to the U.S. to work? Germany's economy is much better and the Euro is stronger than the dollar.' Touche.
7. My brother was amazed by all of the space we have here. Every time we went to a park, lake or trail he said that there are very few places around Frankfurt to enjoy nature and the ones that do exist are always packed with people and thus not very enjoyable. It made me appreciate the PNW and all of its outdoor activities even more.
8. GoogleMaps is fine in areas you kind of know with decent coverage. It is not great in areas with no coverage that you do not know. Functionality and UX has decreased from earlier versions. Getting a real GPS Navigation before my next trip into unknown territory.
9. Corn dogs are the only thing that you cannot get as a freshly prepared meal at a restaurant/stand/truck (please let me know if you know of a place). My brother loves corn dogs. He can get the frozen ones in Germany. He asked to go to a place to eat freshly made corn dogs. Me: crickets. No clue. The only time we saw corn dogs on a menu they were part of a kid's menu. And you know they weren't dipping hot dogs in batter and frying them in any of those places.
10. Your Twitter followers and your Klout score are not as valuable as time with your family. Not tweeting for 2 weeks will not kill you socially. I am pretty sure none of my followers will take offense to this since I am confident that you all agree. Go hug a loved one. You're lucky if you can just go do that without flying across the world.